To forgive or not to forgive

Mark 11 v 25-26, “And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.”

Contained in these verses is a very important spiritual principle. The Lord warns us that if we do not forgive people when they sin against us, our Father in heaven will not forgive us when we sin against Him. The implications of unforgiveness are severe. These verses show us that God:-

· Does not tolerate unforgiveness
· Will not sympathize with an unforgiving heart
· Will not give grace to us when we are unforgiving
· Will leave the stain of sin on us when we do not forgive
· Expects us to forgive because He has given us the ability
· Will only forgive us when we forgive
· Will not forgive us when we do not forgive

This list is not exhaustive but the end result thereof is that condemnation is constantly hanging over our heads if we do not forgive and thus God will judge us accordingly and give us our deserved punishment because if we do not forgive, God does not forgive us and if He does not forgive us, we remain unrighteous and if we remain unrighteous before God, we cannot inherit the Kingdom of God because the 1 Corinthians 6 v 9 says, “Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God?”

Now fully knowing that if we do not forgive people when they sin against us God will not forgive us, why do we struggle to forgive? Why do we find it hard to say to the wrongdoer, “I forgive you.”? There are many reasons we give to “justify” our reluctance to forgive. We sometimes fuel our unforgiveness by the gravity of the wrong that has been done against us. For example, if someone steals from us, because we consider theft to be a very serious offence, the seriousness we attach to theft, we then use to justify why we should not forgive the thief. We do likewise to many other offences that people commit against us. Sometimes we are only prepared to forgive if the offender repents but God commands us to forgive regardless of the offence and the attitude of the offender. Romans 5 v 8 says, “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” From this verse, we see that God did not wait for us to repent before He provided forgiveness for sins. He made the first move in order to make way for reconciliation by sending His only begotten Son to die on the cross. This is a pattern we need to follow. The offended should always seek to make way for reconciliation no matter what the offender’s attitude is. Whether the offender’s attitude is for or against repentance and reconciliation, the offended should always seek to forgive and reconcile. For example, if someone hurts you, don’t wait for them to come and apologise but at the first opportunity, you should seek the offender and forgive them and seek to reconcile with them whether the offender wants to or not. This is the attitude the Lord had when He died on the cross. Because of His love for us and seeing our precarious condition in that we were sinners in the eyes of God and worthy of condemnation, the Lord’s decision to obediently die on the cross in order to provide forgiveness for sins was independent of our decision to repent or not to repent and that decision also did not discriminate against the type of sins committed. So coming back to our question of why we find it hard to forgive, the answer is simple; pride. When someone sins against us, we feel like we have been “disrespected”. Many people take offences as attacks against their person and may have decreed that whatever offence that had been committed against them is trespass against them. You have heard people say or you may have said it yourself, comments like, “Such and such a thing should not be done against me” or “You don’t do such and such a thing to me”. We have turned ourselves into little gods with our own little commandments that we expect other people to obey and when they break them, we seek to judge and condemn them.

Now offences cannot be justified and while it is wrong for anyone to do anything wrong against you in God’s eyes, it is also wrong for you not to extend mercy. You will note I said “wrong in God’s eyes” because any offence only qualifies as one if it is wrong in God’s eyes. God is the ultimate authority and the knowledge of right and wrong comes only from Him. Sometimes we take offence to certain things done to us when they are not offences at all and harbour grudges against the “offender” in futility. If God expects us to forgive people when they have offended us according to His judgment, what more when He doesn’t consider them wrong these other “offences” they may have committed against us? As I have noted before, it is a sin to harbour unforgiveness and as long as you harbour unforgiveness, it means you are unrepentant of your wrong doing and hence God will not forgive you if you do not repent. Let me say it another way. God commands us to forgive and when we do not forgive, we are directly disobeying God’s command. If we continue to disobey His command, it shows that we have not repented and if we have not repented, God does not forgive us. So God does not forgive those who remain unmerciful to others is because unforgiveness is a sign of being unrepentant and an unrepentant hearts cannot receive mercy from God.

Now some of you may be reading this in dismay saying to me, “You have no idea what I have been through. How can I forgive someone who has done such and such to me?” First, who are you to try and justify your unforgiveness? Are you going to stand before the judgement seat of Christ and attempt to justify your unforgiveness? I tell you, Jesus Christ will judge you accordingly and cast you into the Lake for Fire for directly disobeying His command. His word expressly states that the unforgiving will not receive mercy and you happily decide not forgive!!! Your judgment is deserved. Second, who cares what wrong has been done to you? Any offence done against you is nothing compared to your offence against God. God required you to be cast away from His presence forever into the lake of fire for directly disobeying Him but because of His love for you, He sent His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for the forgiveness of your sins. When you understand this, which is the gospel, you will not harbour any unforgiveness because to be unforgiving, is to deny the power of the cross. You know fully well that you do not deserve to be forgiven, and your offender also does not deserve to be forgiven but how can you expect to receive mercy from God when you do not believe in extending mercy to others? You cannot expect God to operate double standards in that situation. Imagine you are in a room with Jesus Christ along with someone who has wronged you. You labour to explain to God why you are justified in not forgiving the offender by explaining to God how serious the offence is and how often it was committed against you, and God turns to you and says, “Seeing that you do not believe in forgiving the offender, should I forgive you for the grievous sins that you have committed against Me?” What will be your answer? Some of us think we deserve mercy more than others. We think because we have done certain things then God should forgive us. This is a subtle belief in works-based salvation. We think by virtue of some good in us, which may not be found in others so we think, God should forgive us. This is an insult to the cross. God forgives us on the basis of what Jesus Christ did on the cross. Only when we place our trust in His substitutionary death on the cross are we then counted as righteous and therefore there is nothing you and I can do to deserve mercy. Matthew 18 v 23-35 recounts this parable. “Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants. And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents. But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made. The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt. But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence: and he laid hands on him, and took [him] by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest. And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt. So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done. Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee? And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.” Let’s anaylse this parable. Servant #1 owed his master ten thousand talents, which was a lot of money. He was unable to pay his master. In order to recoup the debt, his master wanted to sell him and his family into slavery. Slavery being a very harsh prospect for this servant and his family, he begs for mercy which his master extends to him with compassion. After being forgiven, he sees a fellow servant who owes a hundred pence, which was nothing really. He demands repayment but servant #2 is unable to pay him back. Full of anger, he shows no mercy and has his fellow servant cast into prison. Other servants seeing this, report him to his master who is enraged and asks a very important question, “Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?” The clear message here is simple; a soul that receives mercy is motivated to show mercy. An unforgiving heart is a heart that has not received mercy itself because if you understand the eternal work that Jesus Christ did on the cross, you would not hesitate to forgive others. Forgiveness is a sign that you understand the infinite value of what Jesus Christ did for you on the cross and therefore you are more than compelled to forgive others. You understand that offences against you are nothing compared to offences against God and realizing that when God forgives you, He has saved you from untold pain and suffering in hell, you readily extend mercy to others. Unforgiveness is a sign that you are not bearing good fruit in keeping with repentance and John the Baptist said that a person who does not bear good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire as it is written in Luke 3 v 8-9, “Bring forth therefore fruits worthy of repentance, and begin not to say within yourselves, We have Abraham to [our] father: for I say unto you, That God is able of these stones to raise up children unto Abraham. And now also the axe is laid unto the root of the trees: every tree therefore which bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.”

Some of you may say it is hard to forgive. The only reason it is hard to forgive is because we feel justice is only served if the person who has wronged us suffers for what they did to us. Only until the offender has been punished, do we feel that justice has been served. With that kind of attitude, we make ourselves into God because we now require that those who wrong us should be punished but God says in Romans 12 v 19, “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but [rather] give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance [is] mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.” Think of it this way, if the offender does not repent, God will deal with him accordingly because He is just. This means that God will punish the offender for his sins should he remain unrepentant. We need to trust that God will bring justice. Should the offender repent, and seek forgiveness from God, God forgives him and his sin is atoned for in Christ and therefore in Christ Jesus in the offenders offence dealt with and justice is served. In both cases, it is futile to harbour unforgiveness because whichever way the offender is dealt with, justice is served and therefore when we refuse to forgive, we undermine God’s justice and seek to replace it with our own which is a direct challenge of God’s authority and when we directly challenge His authority, we can only expect Him to condemn us. After all God is willing to forgive you without you having to suffer the consequences of your sin. With that in mind let us follow the example set by Christ as explained in 1 Peter 2 v 23, “Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed [himself] to him that judgeth righteously” Jesus Christ committed Himself to the Father because He knew that He was a righteous judge. Likewise we should commit ourselves to God whom we know is a righteous judge and seek not our own end. That will enable us to forgive. This is a call to faith. When we understand that we deserve to be cast into the lake of fire because of our own sinfulness, we will not hesitate to forgive our offenders because we fully appreciate what Jesus Christ did for us on the cross. This is not to belittle things that have been done against you, but this is to protect you against you against an unforgiving and bitter heart which will make you a sure candidate for hell. Sometimes the devil uses offences to hold us captive in unforgiveness because he knows that as long as we remain unforgiving, we are on our way to hell. I therefore exhort you to forgive because there is no sympathy, whatsoever, from God for an unforgiving heart only judgment and wrath. Please take this issue seriously for God cannot lie. If someone has wronged you, forgive them regardless of the offence so as to not let a bitter root grow in your heart that will make you captive to your unforgiveness. Romans 12 v 14 says, “Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not,” and v17, “Recompense to no man evil for evil…” This is what it means to live a life of love when we forgive those that offend us because Jesus Christ did the same when we sinned against Him. God bless you.